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Meet the bandit sign bastards


“Bandit Sign Marketer’s Industrial Strength Anti-Sign Nazi Repellant….

“How Does The Original “Inglorious Bastard” Kelly Lynch Manage To Give
The Sign Nazis a ‘Golden Shower’ While Placing All The Bandit Signs He Wants?”

Discover How You Can Completely Fool The Sign Nazis and Use Their Own Sneaky Tactics Against Them Using Kelly’s “Piss On Sign Nazis Course!”

“I Truly Despise the Sign Nazis So Much I Developed This Course Where You Can Drink A Pitcher Of Iced Tea and Piss All Over Their Rules and Place All The Bandit Signs You Want Right Under Their Noses…..Guaranteed!

Or I’ll Give You A 100% Money Back Refund Out Of My Own Pocket!”-




Dear Bandit Sign Marketer,

A few nights ago I was watching the classic horror flick, “Friday the 13th”. Remember no matter how fast the half naked camp counselor would run Jason would always be like 2-steps behind her? It’s kinda the same with the Sign Nazis…no matter how slick you are they manage to take down your signs and sometimes leave you a nasty little ticket.

I hated this happening to me and my students so I essentially sat down with a scalpel, a striker saw, and a set of hemostats and performed a craniotomy to remove all my Sign Nazi ducking knowledge…

But before we dive into all the gooey chunks--let me share a story with you…

Three years ago Travis Meyers had finally worked up the courage to become a real estate investor. He had convinced his wife that it was worth the time and financial investment to do this and had borrowed against his 401K to make his dream happen.

So like most investors he bought a set of bandit signs and placed them in his area and waited for the calls to come in. He was excited when he got a call from Joe. Joe came off a hyper-motivated seller with a house with more than $60,000.00 in equity and wanted to sell NOW…the perfect deal and wanted to meet as soon as possible at a local restaurant. Travis, eager to make his first deal, rushed to the restaurant….only to find a code compliance officer and a cop waiting for him. Being surprised and not having been trained on what to say or do, Travis left that day not with a deed but a hand full of tickets totaling several thousand dollars. On his way home to face his wife, Travis couldn’t figure out how the Sign Nazis tracked him down and if he was cut out to be an investor.

Here’s one more but with a different ending…

Christopher Weimer has been investing in real estate for several years. He prefers to do short sales but is versed in doing short sales, subject to, and wholesaling. His lead generation previously had been direct mail sequences to pre-foreclosure list, but it seemed that his leads had dried up with the multiple investors mailing to the same list. He decided to switch to using Bandit Signs but he was worried about the Code Compliance Department aka Sign Nazis tracking him down.

He contacted me and asked if I did consultations. I told him I wasn’t opening up membership to Platinum Students for the time being, but since he went through all the trouble of contacting me, I figured I’d try to help him out.

Christopher drove 4 hours from Waco, Texas to meet me at The Mad hatter’s Tea House and Café, and walked away with a “Joe” Paterno game plan that has bulletproofed his business ever since.

I’m going to honest with you, I understand that using Bandit Signs are illegal…and I don’t care. I make no apologies to anyone that I use them as my sole and main marketing technique for the following reasons:

4 Reasons Why Using Bandit Signs Might
Be The Best Marketing Vehicle in the World:

Reason #1: Most investors get it wrong. Everyone else is using the same dumb-dumb “We Buy Houses” signs.

Reason #2: They work over and over again. A letter campaign has only one chance to convince a prospect         before it ends up in the garbage. Bandit signs meet the         prospect on his way to and from work the first         day…second…third…on and on.

Reason #3: Extremely low start-up cost. If you’re mailing a letter to a list it cost money for that list. Plus         you don’t know how many other investors have paid for         that same list.

Reason#4: You can get that lead to a house with $25,000.00 in equity by a sign placed the night before         or fill that vacancy fast with a well placed-targeted         bandit sign. The newspaper takes 2-3 days to get the         classified in the right spot and most of the time it’s         screwed up.

With all these reasons as to why I love to use Bandit Signs, they still have an arch-nemesis…The Sign Nazis….

These guys are like a raging case of syphilis for most investors. I know of several promising young investors that threw in the towel from their experiences with the Sign Nazis. One had even spent well over $20,000.00 on his education and one bad experience sent him packaging. And unfortunately I’ve heard stories like this across the country.

As a teacher, coach, and bandit sign master I knew I had to do something about this. Thus began my sabbatical to find all the tools necessary to cloak yourself in a veil of invisibility from the Sign Nazis.

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“Kelly Lynch’s Inglorious Piss On Sign Nazis Course”

A complete and total autopsy was performed on every single trick thought of (and not thought of) about how to deal with the Sign Nazis. I read over every single page in my own personal journal and gathered experience from hundreds of other investors around the world as to what they do to stay off the radar.

I managed to find Billy V- from my Code Compliance department and after a few games of pool and 4 pitchers of Bud Light he gave the “Holy Grail”…never before heard of tactics and tips to completely convince the Sign Nazis to give you a pass. To give you a hint it has to do with hiding in plain sight.

Finally after all of that I hired my own “Parco P.I.” to give me all his inside tips he uses to track down people. I basically said to him the following: “How would you track me down if all you had was this?”

My jaw dropped once he told all the different little tricks he had up his sleeve to track me down. However, I felt a lot better once I realized that I could use the same exact tricks myself against the Sign Nazis.

I methodically beta tested each and every trick on my own business to make sure they actually worked. Guess what happened? Not one…I repeat not one single call, ticket, or hassle from the Sign Nazis, Code Compliance, cops, no one. That’s when I realized I had the Ultimate Anti-Sign Nazi Repellant!

“What Market Should I Go After….
How Many Signs Should I Place?”

That will be one of the first questions that will pop in your head after you have this knowledge. The world is now your oyster once you don’t have the Sign Nazis breathing down your neck. Imagine the ability to place as many signs as you like day or night without your blood pressure jumping up 40 points every time a car passes by or the phone rings. Actually, you don’t have to imagine….I tracked down someone who can tell you exactly what it’s like—Toby Austin.

I met Toby at a REIA (real estate investor association) meeting and he, like many other investors was stressed over the amount of angry emails and phone calls he had received from Code Compliance in his area. One of the latest emails mentioned him by name and threatened prosecution if he ever used Bandit Signs again.

Toby isn’t a newbie and has done over 50+ deals so he knows about real estate investing and marketing. It’s just that, like most fulltime investors already know, bandit signs are the #1 way of generating leads and filling vacancies.

We talked at the meeting and at “The Flying Saucer” afterwards, about our successes and common problems. Then Toby came clean with me and told me all the trouble he’d been having as of late. He didn’t want to get sued or go to jail but he didn’t want to give up using bandit signs either. I don’t blame him.

What happened next literally saved his business…

I had been working on a specific Anti-Sign Nazi Repellant but it was completely disorganized. I had it my computer in Microsoft Word, kinda of disjointed with just my thoughts and information about the Sign Nazis I’d gathered over the years from my P.I. and Code Compliance Insider. Nonetheless, I offered him what I had so far. I wasn’t sure if I was ready or not to let others see it, even though it had worked wonders for me.

Just using what I gave him, Toby was able to completely shield himself from the Sign Nazis and get his business and more importantly…his peace of mind back. The angry emails and phone calls stopped virtually overnight and his signs started staying up 200% longer that before.

UPDATE: In just 6 months Toby’s been able to double the business he was doing and has reached out to other markets. He pushed his business out into other cities since “Big Brother” is no longer looking over his shoulder. He likened my system to a “Romulan Cloaking Device” (darn Trekkies).

Here Are Just a Few Success Stories From The "Bastards"


Name: ‘Pretty Boy Bastard’ AJ Hernes
Location: Norfolk, VA

The Sign Nazis made me feel as though I was a bootlegger was running liquor with the amount of hassle they were giving me. I felt like getting my car supped up so I could outrun them. But seriously, they were a definite problem for me. I got hold of Kelly’s course and it really opened my eyes to several things that I was doing that were leading the Sign Nazis to my doorstep.

After changing those few things my business has grown un-tethered and I’m looking to break $200,000.00 in sales this year.

Thanks for being such a ‘bastard’ Kelly.




Name: ‘Children of the Corn ‘Bastard’ Joseph Williams
Location: Des Moines, IA

Kelly always jokes about all the corn we have out here in this area, but I’d swear that we have just as many Sign Police as ears of corn. I was caught in a sting a year ago and even though I promised to never use bandit signs again, I’ve never stopped. I couldn’t think of any good defenses so I just paid the fine.

After getting Kelly’s course I was able to implement just 2 simple strategies that keep me off the grid so to speak. I haven’t had any more run-ins since this. My competition in my area is also a good friend but I’m not telling him how I did it. Thanks Kelly for giving me a head start.




Name: ‘Hurricane Alley Bastard’ Anderson ‘Andy’ McPherson
Location: Tallahassee, FL

I’ve been a real estate for 6 years; 4 part-time, 2 fulltime. I use bandit signs and direct mail as my lead generation mechanism and I needed a solution for the amount of interference I was receiving from the Code Compliance Department. I was at a seminar at during the break I asked around if anyone had a solution. It seemed like everyone had experienced this problem but few had a viable solutions.

One gentleman suggested that I look into Kelly’s products for the solution. I did some research online and he seemed to have a solid understand real estate investing and marketing. His products aren’t the cheapest but I can honestly state from experience that he definitely over delivers.

My business is running smoother than ever. I really appreciate your help Kelly.




Name: ‘Six Toes Bastard’ Sean Brumback
Location: Denver, CO

I think that the Sign Nazis have my car GPS’d because as soon as I would place some the very next morning I’d be on the receiving end of about 15 angry phone calls from either Code Compliance or angry senior citizens.

I refuse to give up on using Bandit Signs so I decided to find a solution. I came across Kelly’s course and I flattened by the cost, it isn’t cheap by any stretch. I went ahead with the purchase and crossed my fingers. You know how it is sometimes with products…it’s either hit or miss. Well, I’m glad that this was a hit, in fact , a major hit for me. It is extremely focused on just one thing without the fluff that you tend to find elsewhere.

In my opinion this is truly worth, about 30x the cost. If I hadn’t found this I don’t know how I would have succeeded as an investor.



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Here Is Some of “The Inglorious” Material You’ll Get:

  • The precise moment to ask for testimonials and the exact words to say to have them write glowing recommendations about you. (And that’s only half of it…I’ll show you how to chop up your new “intellectual property” to use in all your sales material the right way.)
  • How to use a ghost address to stay off the radar.
  • The exact 4 things you need to MUST know if a sting is about to occur.
  • How to go infiltrate the Sign Nazis ‘boys club’ to steal the routes.
  • How the ‘little things like your son’s X-Box Live membership can get you on the Sign Nazis ‘HIT LIST’.
  • Precisely how to build your own army of “disposable pawns” to take the rap for you.
  • The stuff ‘you think’ you know ALL ABOUT and are probably getting wrong if you don’t….
  • Which ‘old school’ tech device I use to field all my calls and stay off the radar. (bet you’ll never guess)
  • When you can use you real address and when you absolutely never should. (Screwing this up will burn you faster than a $10 hooker)
  • How to run a ‘low profile’ business and why continuing to have your business in the public eye opens you up to multiple frivolous lawsuits.
  • 3 things you MUST know about keeping your email address private…even if you already have a web address.
  • Precisely what a “ghost address’ is and 3 super simple ways to get one setup. (No else is doing this.)
  • The site can go to and find out exactly who you are and where you live from you web address.
  • Exactly what to say to the utility company when they insist on your social security number to check your credit before connecting the juice.
  • What a ‘proxy’ is and how to use one to be an agent of “you”. (sounds crazy but it works wonders)
  • The never thought of place where the Sign Nazis will catch you.
  • How to get a “Blanket R…” from your sellers. (This is key if you ever plan on making it big.)
  • Why using a P.O. Box is worthless tool when trying to stay hidden from the Sign Nazis. (I know that your favorite ‘guru’ told you they were O.K. to use but some of those guys haven’t done a deal in years.)
  • Over 15+ providers to get a prepaid phone from (and I’m not talking about Google Voice)
  • SUPER SECRET: how to get an address in Egypt and still get you mail using…. (sorry but I’m not just telling anyone)
  • The simple form to fill-out when using a “proxy” in case they decide to go rouge.
  • The word-for-word MASTER phrases to use if you are caught in a sting. (this itself is worth thousands of dollars)

and this is just a tiny sample….



Can you stand being a bastard? Oh, did I hurt your feeling? So what! Pardon me if I’m curt, but this information isn’t for everyone.

I don’t want anyone who isn’t ready to defy all normal, common, and conventional thinking to waste my time with this course. This is only for investors who don’t want boundaries or restrictions on making money and their independence. If this is you then please check out what I have in store. If not…please click away to something more on your level like “Hello Kitty!

Just provide your name and email address you check most often to go ‘Behind-The-Curtain’ and check out what’s in store for you…BASTARD!

Enter Your First name:
Your Primary Email:
Privacy Policy: We Respect Your Privacy and will never sell or rent your information to anyone.

In fact, no subject was taboo or off-limits in this course. I left no stone unturned to give you frankly, an unethical…borderline ILLEGAL guide to ducking the Sign Nazis. This is the complete INCEPTION-like download of my “brain” and all my files. You’re probably thinking, “O.K. Kelly, you got me….what’s all this going to cost me?”

Truthfully, the question you need to be asking yourself is…

"How much would you pay to get a complete tool kit from
"THE" top real estate marketer specializing in nothing but Bandit Signs to hold your hand and show you precisely
every trap the Sign Nazis have laid out for you and how to
side-step every tripwire?"

Truth be told, a 1 day seminar on this super-niche, information would cost you a minimum of $1200.00, and that’s even before you factor in flight, hotel, food, etc. Remember Toby from earlier, he wanted to give me a $2200.00 check for the valuable information I gave him just because….and that wasn’t even a finished product, just my personal stash.

I really thought hard about charging the same exact 2 G’s that Toby was going to pay, however, I am not greedy and didn’t want to put this information out of reach for a lot of people.

So to that end I’m lowering the price to an extremely reasonable $125.00. So to put this in perspective, your investment comes up to a measly 0.34 cents a day. You can’t even get a cup of coffee that low.

“What’s The Guarantee?”

Here’s the deal: You get a ridiculously long 90 day money back guarantee. No letter from your mommy, no questions asked. Get the “Piss On Sign Nazis Course”, go through the material, try out a few strategies, and take a piss on a few Sign Nazis. And if you’re not absolutely thrilled for any reason (or no reason)--I’ll happily refund your purchase in full. All you have to do is look me in the eye on paper and show me you tried at least one technique.


You’ll really got me by the balls…

But because I know the information in here is worth a conservative 20x—200x your investment I’m not pressed at all. If you want to place bandit signs without fear or concern anytime you want--you absolutely must have this material!

But I think you need to see it another way….

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There’s 1 important question you need to tackle:

Question -Should you get my Anti-Sign Nazi System? I mean, is it really important for you to do so? How can you tell? I actually have a MATHEMATICAL FORMULA to help you decide.

Let me show you an important number, as a preface to trying to answer the question.

Here’s the number:   78.44

Do you know what this number is?

I looked it up today; it is the average life expectancy in the United States.

Now, with that number we’ll do some really quick math. My current age is 35.5. I’m six months from turning 36. Anyway, 78.4 minus 35.5 leaves 42.9. I got 42.9 years left...the absolute best case scenario. But let’s factor in the 20% you lose to eating, sleeping, crapping, then another 10% to paying bills, waiting in line and surfing the net.

That takes me to 30.9 years I can decide what to do.

Just 30.9.

Your number may be more…or less.

But that’s the number that you have. Do you want that number to be controlled by the Sign Nazis anymore than it already is? Do you want to sit around thinking of what you could do to solve the Sign Nazis problem or simply take a short cut and get the blueprint delivered to you?

How much longer do you want to continue “as is”????

Listen, if you’re serious about this business and want a true blueprint for telling the Sign Nazis to shove it---and adding an extra zero to your income---this material is your shortcut!

Live in fear of the Sign Nazis forever…or TAKE CONTOL of your life and order now!

All the best,

Kelly Lynch,

P.S. It’s no secret that using bandit signs are against locals codes. I’m sure that some of you are probably even hate the idea of using bandit signs---that you should do this business the ‘right way’. Let me give it to you straight. This business is about making money, a lot of it. I personally know that doing just two “average” deals a year can net you an easy $50,000.00 or more. But you can’t do it if you’re sweating the Sign Nazis or what others think. Most of these folk who say no to Bandit Signs sweat all year for less.

Do I feel guilty using bandit signs? Absolutely not! The fact is once you go through the material—you will be in the same position to create gigantic paydays almost at will. Using just a smigin of what I have here will completely change the way you do business.

Nobody ever looks back on an offer they DIDN’T take and remember that as the turning point in their lives. Truthfully, you’ll probably forget all about this invitation in a few days and move onto something else, but it’ll be that select few that do get it who will know the other side of the story. Why can’t it be you? Order NOW!!

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